writing muse

Whew, life has been throwing me some interesting curve balls as of late and truthfully … I haven’t handled them well.

Just about 2 1/2 years ago Mr. Nina was downsized from a job he’d had for over 20 years. Despite the blow to his ego, the change had been one that needed to happen. I was ECSTATIC to finally move out of the wilds of northern Maine. We finally sold our house in the spring of 2010 and I put all of our worldly possessions in storage and joined Mr. Nina in Rhode Island in a two-bedroom furnished apartment. I was soooo happy! We were finally only 2.5 hours from southern Maine where our families live! Life was an adventure! By late fall 5 offers on houses had fallen through FIVE! Even our realtor couldn’t figure out what was going on. In this house market you’d think we could have a couple of those for a steal. Hmmm …

Anyway, we rolled into the holidays blissfully unaware our life was going to take another turn. Right after the first of the year, Mr. Nina lost his job. (Which made me grateful someone was looking out for us and we hadn’t bought a house.) A week of unemployment turned into a month of unemployment turned into a winter then spring then a summer of unemployment turned into 10 months of unemployment. It was rough going to say the least, but we managed.

Then in October Mr. Nina landed a job in Vermont and off we went back into the wild woods. Not quite off the beaten path, bet definitely not the quick-paced life of Rhode Island I’d come to enjoy. (Hey, 20 years in the middle of nowhere of northern Maine had left me with a lot of civilization to catch up on!)

I’m sitting now in a rented home with all of my things out of storage, but still in boxes as we’re in the process of building a handicapped accessible home a couple of towns over from where we are living. All of this is great, but it’s left me in a little bit of a tailspin without the ability to plant my feet on solid ground.

Hence the lack of blogging. Lack of keeping up with social media. Lack of writing.

But there seems to be light shining from somewhere. I’m hoping within the next couple of months as we get settled in our new home in our new state, that life will once again find a comfortable rhythm and words will begin to flow. I can already feel them swelling and story ideas coalescing with the warming temperatures of a January thaw.

So keep an eye out for me. I might have been down for the count, but I was never out. Thanks so much for sticking with me and continuing to read my books in 2012. I’m looking for bigger and better things in 2013!

I don’t like to write. But I love having written.
Michael Kanin

I LOVE this quote. Mostly because I thought I was the only one who ever felt this way. All I ever hear is authors talking about characters that are screaming in their heads and having temper tantrums because the author doesn’t have enough time in the day to put their story on paper.

Oh to dream …

I am definitely thinking like an author these days. I can hear a snippet or see a picture and envision a story happening. Last week a friend was looking for some writing prompts and I went searching the internet for some pictures that would make any muse want to play. And mine frolicked. She was so happy coming up with story starters. Note the key word there people “starters”. But we had no idea where to go with it. Urrrrr … it was so frustrating.

I look back through the books I’ve written and marvel at the words I put together to weave a story. It amazes me. Makes me smile.

When I first started writing I loved the first draft. The creation process. I hated going back through the story and rewriting. Not that it didn’t need it, I just didn’t want to visit it again.

Now …

It’s just the opposite. I dread opening my WIP and seeing the empty page. Trying to help my characters through their journey to their happy-ever-after, kissing-in-the-sunset endings. I tried plotting. I soooo wanted that to work. But I nearly had seizures trying to do that. I mean granted, I plot the next scene in my head and often know where I’m going in the next chapter. But three chapters ahead? Puh-lease. I haven’t a clue.

Despite the fact that I absolutely love my characters, I’ve been stalling on my WIP. Avoiding it with every excuse on the planet. (See me here? Yes, I’m blogging instead of writing.) It doesn’t take much to send me careening down a different path of “to-do” lists. I hate that. I want my characters to jump up and down and have hissy fits until I can’t stand the noise anymore and I have to let them come out and play on the page. I want them pounding on the walls of my brain while I’m in the shower. Couldn’t they please break into my dreams and point me in the right direction? I mean I have very vivid dreams, but no character has ever shown up. I’d welcome them.

Authors who have this happen claim they can’t stand it. That it drives them insane. I say … bring it on! Since it hasn’t happened yet, I’m not holding my breath. I’ll continue to soldier on and head off into the writing cave and wrestle my muse into submission (along with a few wolf shifters). I’m determined to move forward today!