darwin awards

The teacher in me doesn’t seem to be getting enough attention. So this week’s thirteen are some useless facts I just HAD to share with you!

1. On May 9, 1999 approximately 600,000 gallons of whiskey flowed into the Kentucky River during a fire at Wild Turkey Distillery in Lawrenceburg. (And a group of underaged swimmers were picked up downstream two hours later operating a boat under the influence.)

2. An elephant in the wild can eat anywhere from 100 – 1000 pounds of vegetation in a 16 hour period. (Ewww… just think of the gas production all that fiber will cause.)

3. A U.S. company came out with a toilet night-light that sends out a green warning beacon when the seat is up. (Does it also grab the man by the scruff of the neck and drag him back to put it down?)

4. Author Robert May considered the names of Reginald and Rollo before he settled on “Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer.” (I bet you can’t sing the song with one of those names in there.)

5. Males account for 60% of toy injuries that occur in the U.S. (This fact doesn’t surprise you does it?)

6. Approximately 75% of human poop is made of water. (This was just a good opportunity for me to sneak in the eye candy.)

7. Ramses II, a pharaoh of Egypt died in 1225 B.C. At the time of his death, he had fathered 96 sons and 60 daughters. (Did the man sleep?)

8. There are approximately 100,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body. (And I bet those corpuscles get lost before they’ll stop and ask for directions!)

9. Braces were first invented by Pierre Fauchard in 1728. The braces were made by a flat strip of metal, which was connected to the teeth by thread. (Seems strange that in the 18th century they were worried about pretty smiles … but daily bathing didn’t come around until a century later.)

10. The Bible has been translated into Klingon. (Huh, I’ve never found that version at a hotel.)

11. The names of Popeye’s nephews are Peepeye, Poopeye, Pipeye, Pupeye. (Was there an aunt involved in the naming of these children?)

12. Coupons were introduced in 1894 when Asa Candler bought the Coca-Cola formula for $2,300 and gave people coupons that he had written out to receive a free glass of coke. (Then it’s his fault I get all that junk mail!)

13. American novelist Mark Twain was the first known author to submit a typed manuscript. (And I bet he never had to deal with a rejection letter.)