I am happy to welcome Dr. Charley Ferrer, a world renowned Clinical Sexologist and the only Latina Doctor of Human Sexuality in the United States. She is the award winning author of The Latina Kama Sutra, The W.I.S.E. Journal for the Sensual Woman, and The Passionate Latina: In our own words.

Her TV Talk Show, Pleasure is the FIRST bi-lingual show on relationships and sexuality. Pleasure was nominated for Best TV Talk Show by BronxNet in New York City in 2007 and nominated for the Alliance Community Media—Northeast Region Award in 2008.
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I’m often asked to explain what BDSM is and why people engage in this seemingly intense behavior. First I think it’s important to understand what BDSM actually stands for. It’s an acronym for Bondage, Disciple, Sadomasochism. However within the lifestyle it’s also accepted as a part of identifying the Power Exchange and Dominance and submission relationships. Individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationship do not consider themselves part of the BDSM mentality however do consider themselves part of the community. The fact is that there are various levels of BDSM, from the pleasure seeker who wants a little kink with his sex before he runs home to his wife/girlfriend, to the adrenaline junkie (major pain slut) who wants to push himself as far as he can go (think in vanilla terms those extreme sports guys/gals), to those that actually embrace Dominance and submission as a way of life; and even further, to those individuals who embrace a Master/slave relationships and live it 24/7.

Contrary to popular belief, BDSM is not merely about Whips and chains. In many instances, toys are never used as the individuals, both Dominant and submissive, are interested in “service” and a spiritual and/or emotional connection. Also keep in mind that some Dominants do not use impact toys (Whips, Floggers, Paddles) to enforce their dominance but use a psychological impact–even Fear Play—never once laying a hand on the submissive. There are also those Dominants/Masters/Mistresses who use humiliation and extreme control, again never once lifting a finger. Plus many BDSM relationships don’t involve sexual contact. I can go on and on in this topic however I’m sure you are getting the idea of how intricate and diverse the world of BDSM is.

There are safeguards within the community and between individuals interacting. This is where negotiations come into play as the participants decided what will be used turning their interactions (ie: Paddles, Whips, humiliation, sexual contact/penetration, etc). These interactions acceptable for someone you’re just meeting or are learning to interact with, however , there are NO negotiations when someone is a slave or property and already belongs to their Master/Mistress. At that point, the Owner decides what’s acceptable and what the slave/submissive will tolerate.

If you consider exploring this uniquely erotic and intensely stimulating world for yourself (whether as a writer or merely a participant) I would recommend joining a local BDSM organization in your area to learn some of the basics and learn how to Play safe. After all, no one jumps into a shark tank without at least knowing how to swim. *smiles*

I believe that as an adult, it’s your right to explore all avenues of your sensuality, of educating yourself to become the best lover you can be—the best writer. You go to school and workshops to become the best at your chosen career, why not educate yourself in a field that will be with you forever?

As for writers, it’s paramount to keep in mind that some individuals may be experiencing their first taste of BDSM and Dominance/submission through your books. If the reader identifies within this unique mindset and has no other clue as to what it’s about, your book becomes the judge of whether they’re “normal or not”. And Kinksters who read your book(s) appreciate seeing themselves portrayed in a respectful light and the villains and pathological behavior distinguished from those who practice D/s with love, respect and honor.

My books: BDSM THE NAKED TRUTH and BDSM FOR WRITERS opens the door, pulls back the Leather Curtain, and shows you the truth about what Dominance and submission really is. How individuals who embrace this lifestyle do so in a very respectful and affectionate manner. These books provide you with information on the various levels of intensity within the community. Everything from light spanking to someone/couples who go to the extreme; just as within vanilla relationships where some individuals/couples are quiet or mundane and others love the thrill of bungee jumping off bridges. (Vanilla—anyone who isn’t into BDSM.)

The books debut August 2011 in eBook and paperback form and are currently available for Pre-Order. Reserve your copy today and join our LIGHTENING BRIGADE—this is what I affectionately call the first 300 people to purchase a copy of my book. With your Pre-Order you’ll receive a $500 Digital Erotic Art Collection from Captured Erotica absolutely FREE. Plus you’ll be entered to win several fun kinky prizes and one mundane one.

Before I say goodbye, I want to take a moment to thank Nina for allowing me to share this time with you. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how wonderful her stories are. I’d love to chat a little more about BDSM with you today and I welcome your questions and comments. If you’re an author (published/unpublished) sign up for my workshops being offered through Savvy Authors in August to learn how to enhance your novels and discover many secrets used within the lifestyle. For non-writers, I recommend my book BDSM THE NAKED TRUTH which is a wonderful resource to understanding what is at the heart of you or your partner’s desires; and/or as I mentioned earlier, allow you to enhance your sensual knowledge even if you decide Dominance and submission is not for you. And before I forget, enter to win a copy of my book (winner’s choice); all you have to do is ask a question or leaves a comment.

*** CONTEST IS CLOSED ***
Congratulations to Karenna Colcroft
winner of Dr. Charley’s Book

BUY BDSM for Writers
BUY The Naked Truth

0 Responses to Welcome Dr. Charley!

  • Dr. Charley,

    Thanks for sharing your expertise with us. It is always beneficial for all of us to broaden our horizons and learn about different things.

    Margie

    • Margie – Dr. Charley has a great perspective on it doesn’t she?

      • I first encountered Dr. Charley after I signed up for the Authots After Dark Con yahoo group and she introduced herself and offered to share a ride from NY(I think) to AAD Philly. Wish I could travel with her. Bet it would be a very educational , fun trip.

        • LOL! I definitely think it would have been an enjoyable trip!

          • Hi Margie,

            Thanks for coming by and reading the article.

            Yes, it would have been a fun right to AAD but then I’d make you talk about all your fabulous books and where you get your ideas and when you’ll write one just for me and…welll…I’ve a very long list. *smiles*

            Please feel free to join me on Twitter @doctorcharley or at the Savvy Authors workshops, would love your feedback.

            Live with passion,

            Doctor Charley…

  • Great post, Dr. Charley. I learn more each time I read a post from you. You’re expertise in the field is greatly appreciated and sharing your knowledge in the form of classes is beneficial to all of us.

    Have a great day.

    Marie

    • Marie – The classes sound great don’t they? Thanks so much for stopping over.

      • Hi Marie,

        Thank you so much for the compliment. I love to help normalize this uniquely erotic and intense lifestyle especially since there’s so much misinformation and misconsception out there.

        It’s my hope that as writers learn the NAKED TRUTH about BDSM, they’ll begin to add the information to their novels and readers will learn from “you”.

        I look forward to seeing you at the workshops. I just love Savvy Authors and the wonderful community of writers that grace it’s halls, so to speak.

        Live with passion,

        Doctor Charley…

  • I enjoyed your post and will definitely be checking out your books. I’m also a Savvy Authors member and teach author promotion workshops for the site. I will look for your workshops there. I bet the class discussions would be lively!
    — Marcia James 😉

    • Marcia – Savvy Authors definitely has a great line up for classes. And I’m with you, I suspect the live web chat portion will be great … fun and informative.

    • Marcia,

      Hi. Thanks for visiting me here at Nina’s website. Isn’t Nina wonderful! I’m so pleased you’ll me looking at my books and hopefully attending the workshops. I’d love to get your feedback. As it is, we’re actually doing a combination forum and webinar where participants can listen to the information and as quesitons at the same time. As I have so much info to share an hour or two of typing is never enough. Plus there will be handouts and such so even if you can’t attend during the live discussion, you’ll have all the notes and the transcript. Yahooo.

      I believe you have a workshop coming up as well. It’s on my list to review/attend as I’m always looking to improve what I’m doing. Please feel free to send me further information about it. Thanks in advance.

      Live with passion,

      Doctor Charley…

      • My next Savvy Authors workshop on author promotion won’t take place until 2012 — probably in the second half of the year. My travel schedule is too crazy. But I will definitely see if I’ll be in town for your workshop. 😉

        — Marcia 😉

  • Dr. Charley, thanks for sharing this information with us. And Nina, thanks for hosting her 🙂

    • Karenna – It’s been a joy to have her here. Thanks for stopping over.

      • Hi Karenna:

        Am pleased to see you here. I hope you found the information helpful. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have. I’ll be checking back and forth for the next few days as Nina has graciously allowed me time to talk to you all.

        Live with passion,

        Doctor Charley Ferrer

  • Thanks for sharing with us. When I started writing No One But Madison, I spent so much time researching the lifestyle. I joined local groups and spent time at Paddles in NYC. While I wouldn’t trade those weeks or the wonderful people I met, a book like BDSM for Writers would have helped. I think this book will find a permanent place on the shelves of erotic romance writers.

    • Doreen – Your research trip sounds fascinating and I’m sure it comes with all kinds of stories. 😉 And I have to agree with you about Dr. Charley’s book, I’m sure it will find it’s way to my shelf along with the other research books I use for reference.

    • Hi Doreen,

      *smiles* Thanks for the kind words. I’m hoping every writer who thinks about writing in this unique genre will use BDSM FOR WRITERS as their reference guide. There’s tons of information about Dominance and submission as well as naughty tricks every Dominant/Sadist should know to spice up a scene. BDSM FOR WRITERS is the next best thing to being there. *smiles*

      I find BDSM is the type of lifestyle that even after 15 years, I’m still learning more and more about it. It’s as vast as the ocean and as ever changing as the seasons.

      I’m so please you did research and I’m sure you have lots of stories to share…perhaps they’ve already been incorporated in a few of your books. *smiles*

      Paddles…love that place. Did you know DomsubFriends is hosting a “Slave Auction” this Friday, July 29? You should join me. I get to be one of the… judges…chuckles. Do so love my job!

      Feel free to email me for further info–that goes for everyone. And or I can always post it here as well. Up to you.
      doctorcharley@bdsmforwriters(dot)com.

      Live with passion,

      Doctor Charley…

      • Whaaaaat? No more information Dr. Charley on what being a “judge” for the slave auction entails? Curious writers want to know. 😉

  • Thank you, Dr. Charley, for such an enlightening post. And thank you, Nina, for hosting her. I’m always looking for more information about the subject. BDSM for Writers sounds like a great learning experience.

    • Cris – Thanks for stopping by. I’m so excited about Dr. Charley’s book. I can’t wait to read it.

    • Hi Cris,

      Thanks for stopping by. My books BDSM FOR WRITERS and BDSM THE NAKED TRUTH (this one for the general public) debuts August 5th. I’m looking forward to hearing what everyone has to say after they read it. The Good, The Bad, The Naughty. smiles.

      Live with passion,

      Doctor Charley…

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