A friend of mine sent these very funny quotes from famous people. I thought it was an awesome list to share with you this last Thursday in July.

1. An exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor: She said, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison.” He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

2. “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas

3. “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend… if you have one.” – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

4. “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.” – Winston Churchill, in response.

5. “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright

6. “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts … for support rather than illumination.” – Andrew Lang

7. “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

8. “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

9. “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop

10. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

11. “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

12. “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde

13. “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

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