I live with a pack rat. It’s not me … really! The man wants to save everything “just in case”. My mission then becomes to keep these trinkets in some semblence of order. When I was well I had garage sales and pawned off a lot of his stuff to others who find a thrill in buying useless things for a quarter.
Anyway, today I mined through one of my 5 drawers … all three layers and this is what I found:
1. Shoelaces – Not in packages, just sort of loose in the drawer.
2. Pens and Pencils – 5 bundles in elastic bands. 3 packs of unopened pens. What? Do I think Bic is going out of business?
3. 4 protractors – 2 of them are unopened! I guess I want to make sure I can find a new angle to my plot.
4. 2 packs nylon ties (in various sizes) – I’m prepared in case one of my villains shows up at my door.
5. 3 packs gluesticks – Okay, I totally did this one. Little Boy Blue had a project and we had no glue sticks. I stomped into WalMart at 10 o’clock at night sputtering and swore we’d never run out of gluesticks again!
6. 2 self-adhesive hooks – umm, I have no idea why I would think I need these. (At least they don’t look like this …)
7. 5 jackknives – Yeah, 5 of them. Including two leathermen tools. The man has two in his glovebox and there are a couple downstairs on his workbench. I think they’ve all been given to him. He doesn’t hunt or fish … can’t help you there.
(This is the kind of leatherman I wouldn’t
mind having in my junk drawer.)
8. 4 small screwdrivers – A couple with flatheads. A couple phillips head. They do come in handy. I use them all the time. Just don’t ask me why they’re in the third layer.
9. Eyeglass repair kit – With all 5 of us wearing glasses this unfortunately sees a lot of action. It’s a couple of teeny-tiny screws. The optomitrist rolled his eyes when I said I wanted my screw back after he repaired my glasses. Hey, it’s not like I’ve got extra.
(Come to Mama … let me check your screws)
10. 5 rulers – But none of them have centimeters. Who makes a ruler in this day in age without metric?
11. Electric hair clippers – Used once by the man on my son. But when my beautiful baby was left bald, I threw them in the junk drawer and we now use them for the dog!
12. Key rings – All attached together with several keys hanging off them. This is not me! I can’t see saving keys if you don’t know what they go to. But my beloved believes you just might find some locked box and these keys will magically open the pirates booty!
13. 2 tape measures – The kind with advertisements on them. My man attends all kinds of health fairs. You wouldn’t believe the treasures he finds!