15 Responses to “When to Write Sex Scenes”


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  1. Diane Sallans

    I hope writers pay attention to you about writing sex scenes. As a reader, I find it can break the flow of the story if the scenes are thrust in, rather than feeling natural.
    I really like these Summons stories – connected stories and series are my favorites.

    • Diane – I agree, the sex needs to be a natural progression of what’s happening in the story or it feels forced and unnatural.

  2. Thanks Diane! I totally agree that too many books are ‘forced’ with sex scenes. Readers can tell!

    Thanks for commenting!

  3. Brenna A

    Excellent blog! I loved the excerpt. And I agree, ‘sensual’ does just roll off the tongue.

  4. I also write sensual and run into the same issues–when is it time for the first sex scene. Usually I have 2-3 sex scenes. I find it works for me to label each one, so I know the emotional impact at that particular time.

    • Susan – “the emotional impact” … I like that. It’s so true. Each sex scene needs to ramp up the emotional connection between the characters until we just can’t stand for them to part!

  5. Michelle

    Give me the sex! Okay. Hi Phyllis. We’re friends from Champagne Books, so of course I”m going to comment.

    I think it’s great to tease the reader as much as the characters. The books I’m writing now have sex sooner in the book and then build the tension back up. It can provide a challenge for me the author.

    Michelle Libby

    • Michelle – I love the idea of the sex in the beginning creating a conflict so that you can ratchet the tension back up. That makes the next sex so mcuh more gratifying!

  6. Hello, Phyllis,

    I love your intro!

    I agree 100% that you have to listen to the characters. I’ve written some stories lately where it seems to be taking them forever to actually do the deed – but I’ve come to understand that you can’t hurry this.

    I should say that I don’t just write “sensual”. I’m proud to say that yes, I write about sex. In addition to romance, I also write erotica, which is fiction about desire – sometimes, but not necessarily love as well, and sometimes not ending happily. The same rules apply though. If you’re putting in the sex just because you think it will sell, and not because the story demands it, then you’re weakening your work.

    • Lisabet – I love your stories. I must say you definitely create characters where their story demands sex and it’s always hot and definitely fits with the plot. Thanks so much for stopping by.

  7. I totally agree about making them wait–as Michelle will agree. Sometimes, I drive her crazy.
    On the other hand, when I write erotica as Pepper Goodrich, they can’t get into bed quick enough 😉

    • Judi – It’s building the tension that makes that scene when they finally come together (pun intended) that much more rewarding. And in erotica it’s just kind of fun to throw them in bed together and THEN screw with them. LOL!

  8. Emily Allen

    I like it when there is sexal tension. It makes it much more interesting when they finally come togehter. It’s just a mater of letting your charater’s tell you what they want.