Readers don’t like wusses.

Heroes – male or female – may be frightened, but they may not be wusses. Often, the difference lies not in the hero’s actions, but in the words you’ve used.

You may have created a spunky, heroic, brave heroine, but the reader still perceives her as a wimpy wuss, because you’ve unwittingly used certain phrases which signal “wimp” to the reader’s subconscious. I call this the Wimp Effect.

It’s best to avoid those words, or at least, to use them sparingly.

THE WIMP TEST:
See how your hero performs in your WIP. Every time your protagonist does one of the following things, she or he gets one Wimp Point.

* Sighing, exhaling, breath taking. Each time the protagonist heaves a sigh, sighs deeply, takes a deep breath, inhales, exhales slowly etc, that’s one Wimp Point.

* Shrugging. Shrugs may be intended to convey arrogance or indifference, but they also signal weakness. One Wimp Point for each shrug.

* Hesitation. Each time the protagonist hesitates, however good the reason, that’s a Wimp Point.

* Visceral responses to minor triggers. Visceral responses to real danger are great! But if the protagonist shudders, trembles, jerks and gasps at something harmless like the sound of a banging door, this gets a Wimp Point.

* Indulging in negative-passive emotions. It’s ok to feel sadness, grief, loss, worry, anxiety, helplessness. However, these should be dealt with quickly. The protagonist should experience them, but not dwell on them. Each time such an emotion is described for more than one sentence, it gets a Wimp Point.

* Tears. Each time the protagonist weeps, spills tears, wipes a tear from his eyes, gets moist eyes, or has a tear sliding down her cheek, earns one Wimp Point.

* Thinking. Thoughts should be very short or implied in the action. Whenever the protagonist thinks for more than one sentence, that’s a Wimp Point. If he thinks aloud, or holds conversations with himself, the Wimp Points double.

* Nervous habits. Each time the protagonist bites or chews lips, cheeks or nails, clenches fists or teeth, freezes, gulps, swallows, clears a throat, drops a jaw or stares in disbelief, that’s one Wimp Point.

* Tries and attempts. Each time your protagonist tries/attempts/endeavours something, that’s one Wimp Point. When he tries something in connection with an emotional response (“He tried not to shudder”, “She tried to suppress a groan” “He couldn’t stop himself trembling”), the points double.

* Feeling. Every time the word “feel” is used (“He felt xxx”, “Feeling yyy, she did zzz”) earns one Wimp Point.

* Finding themselves. Every time the protagonist finds himself in a place or situation (“He found himself in a dark alleyway”), or finds himself doing something instead of doing it (“He found himself shaking all over”, “She found herself staring at a house”), this earns one Wimp Point.

* Involuntary actions. Each time she does something involuntarily/unconsciously/instinctively/ without meaning to/against her will, gets one Wimp Point.

* Each time the protagonist’s body parts (instead of the protagonist) do something “His legs stepped forward.” “His hands took the weapon.” “Her eyes watched the rat.”… gets one Wimp Point.

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
How many Wimp Points has the protagonist earned? Aim for no more than three in the scariest scene, and no more than ten or fifteen in the whole book, although it depends on the genre. Romance can be allowed a little more; thrillers fewer. Females are allowed a few more points than males, but not many more.

Some writers accumulate a dozen Wimp Points in a single paragraph, and are surprised when readers think their heroine is a wuss.

Here’s an example of how a paragraph with many Wimp Points might read:

Henry Hero stared in disbelief at the dark river, and couldn’t help himself swallowing. He found himself shaking involuntarily. Part of him whispered, “No man has ever crossed this water alive. Go home while you can.” Another part of him yelled, “Just do it. Be the First.” He chewed his lower lip, hesitating. A cloud crossed the sky, making him shudder. Then he took a deep breath to steady himself, and exhaled with a sigh. “I have to do it,” he told himself. “The Delectable Damsel needs me.” His feet stepped towards the shore.

SOME WIMP POINTS ARE OK

Each of the “Wimp Effects” is ok on its own, if it happens just once. A single sigh, a single swallow, a one-off burst into tears are fine.

It’s when the Wimp Points accumulate that they become problematic, and they accumulate quickly. Novice writers often have twenty or more Wimp Points in the first chapter, because their characters shrug and sigh constantly. This establishes their protagonists as wusses before the scary action begins.

The hero Odysseus weeps several times in Homer’s famous ancient epic The Odyssey. Does this make him a wimp? Definitely not. The weeping shows him as a sensitive human, and it works because he doesn’t do anything else to earn Wimp Points. He doesn’t sigh, shrug, inhale, exhale, bite his lips and clear his throat. If he did all those things on top of the weeping, he would come across as a wuss, no matter how many cyclops and monsters he defeated.

It also depends on the character. A timid character is allowed the occasional Wimp Point, but not many.

Examples:
Spunky person: “She halted.” (0 Wimp Points)
Timid person: “She hesitated.” (1 Wimp Point)
Wimpy wuss: “She hesitated, chewing her lips, and heaved a deep sigh.” (3 Wimp Points)

Spunky person: “She braced herself.” (0 Wimp Points)
Timid person: “She swallowed and braced herself.” (1 Wimp Point)
Wimpy wuss: “She swallowed. Then she took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and braced herself.” (4 Wimp Points)

HOW TO AVOID THE WIMP EFFECT

Wherever possible, cut down on Wimp Points.

* Delete sighs, shrugs, inhales, exhales, lip biting, cheek chewing, swallowing etc.

* Don’t let your protagonists do a lot of thinking, and never let two parts of their psyche engage in a conversation.

* If the plot demands that the protagonist hesitates, express it with different words (He halted , He paused, He waited)

* If the protagonist tries to do something, express it without the words try/attempt/endeavour. Instead of “He tried to pull it out” write “He pulled at it with all his strength”.

* Describe negative-passive emotions intensely but briefly.

De-wimpifying your WiP can be fun. Enjoy the process.

Which wimpy habits have invaded your writing? Tell us about them. If you have questions, please ask.

I’ll be around for a week and will reply.

Rayne Hall is the author of thirty books in different genres (mostly fantasy, horror and non-fiction) and under different pen names, published by twelve publishers in six countries, translated into several languages. Her short stories have been published in many magazines, e-zines and anthologies. Currently, she tries to regain the rights to her out-of-print books so she can republish them as e-books. She is the editor of the Ten Tales series of short story anthologies. Find all her books on Amazon

After living in Germany, China, Mongolia and Nepal, she has settled in a small Victorian seaside town in southern England. Rayne holds a college degree in publishing management and a masters degree in creative writing. Over three decades, she has worked in the publishing industry as a trainee, investigative journalist, feature writer, magazine editor, production editor, page designer, concept editor for non-fiction book series, anthology editor, editorial consultant and more. Outside publishing, she has worked as a museum guide, apple picker, tarot reader, adult education teacher, trade fair hostess, translator and belly dancer.

She teaches online classes for writers including: Writing Scary Scenes, Writing about Magic, Writing Fight Scenes, The Word-Loss Diet, Edit your Writing (and more).

At the end of this week I’m headed to the Maine Writer’s Retreat. I haven’t seen my home girls since last year and I’m in desperate need of a shot in the arm from these ladies. I’m hoping it will be enough to put my feet back on track again. This not writing thing is definitely not working for me!

In happier news I’ve use randomnumbers.com to choose a winnr from my Mother’s Day Post. Drum roll please …

 Congratulations to VIRGINIA from Florida!
you’ve won a copy of my book “Dangerous Affairs”

Mr. Nina and I went to see The Avengers this weekend. LOVED it! I would highly recommend it. There was a wonderful balance of action and humor … lots of laugh out loud moments. What about you? Seen any good movies recently?

“Leave the poor man alone, he isn’t on a restricted diet. Eat your salmon and salad and be happy,” Alice said in John’s ear as she settled at the table across from him. “Mashed potatoes, Damon?”

“You’re killing me, woman,” John said.

“No, quite the opposite. But if you don’t quit your belly aching, I may just serve you double helpings of corn with butter and clog those crotchety old arteries myself!”

This book is also available at Barnes & Noble.

Click HERE to visit other authors participating in Six Sentence Sunday this week. And Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms!!

Can a get a w00t! w00t! for anyone who grew up with a most awesome Mom?

I’m one of 5 children and we’re all a YEAR apart. Yes, my mother has a direct ladder to heaven for surviving 5 teenagers in her home! A lot of people blame the problems of their lives on their mothers. Ya know … I can’t say that. I’m sure my mom yelled. I’m sure she lost her patience with us. But truly … I don’t remember any of that. All I can remember from my childhood is her laughing. Mom giggles at everything.

My mom’s gone through some tough times, but she’s always been there for me. I love her and appreciate her so much. Unfortunately she lives really far from me. Last month Mr. Nina and I went south to visit her for a week. We had a wonderful visit. But it was waaaay too short. I can’t spend tomorrow with her, but she will be in my heart all day! And these flowers are for her (because she LOVES tulips):

So give a shout out to your Mom. What’s so special about her? How about a print copy of Dangerous Affairs to a random visitor who comments on this post between now and SUNDAY, MAY 13 at 8:00 pm EDT. (Shipping to US only … international winner will receive a $15.00 Amazon Gift Card) So what do you have to say special about your mom?

I’ve had a bunch of readers tell me that a couple of my books end too quickly. That there needed to be a little more information after the climax and resolution. It brought me back to a wonderful workshop I heard suspense/thriller author Lisa Gardner give at a conference I attended. You need to give your reader a breather. Whether it’s a dynamic action scene or an intense sexual encounter, you need to slow down and let your reader digest new information, cogitate on the actions of your characters and get ready for the next scene that will carry them deeper into the conflict.

This is summarized by Dwight Swain as SCENE and SEQUEL. Yes, they’re both scenes within your chapters, but they have different jobs.

SCENE has three parts:
1. Goal – What your POV character desires most at the beginning of the scene. A character going after something they desperately need makes them interesting and makes them proactive in their own story. Readers will care about characters who are working hard toward their goals.
2. Conflict – The series of obstacles your POV character faces in reaching their goal. Your reader wants to see your characters struggle. It makes for a great and fast-paced read.
3. Disaster – Failure for your POV character to reach their goal. Hang your character off a cliff at the end of a scene and you guarantee your reader will be turning the page!

Since your scene ended with a disaster, your character needs to have time to recover. They’re not just going to run out and jump into another conflict. Give them and your readers a chance to settle down and get ready for the next big problem. This “in between” scene is called a sequel.

SEQUEL also has three parts:
1. Reaction – Show your POV character having a visceral reaction to the disaster. Give your reader time to empathize with your character. Hurt with them. Cry with them …care about them.
2. Dilemma – What choices does the POV character face in light of the disaster?
3. Decision – Your POV character makes a choice and decides to act on it. Your characters must be proactive in their own story or you will lose your readers.

This brings you back around to another goal scene. By letting your stories unfold this way, not only are you writing a story your readers can’t stop reading, you’ll be allowing them time to breathe and come down from intense emotions before once again throwing them off a cliff. And don’t ask me how long each of these need to be because the only answer I can offer is … as long as they need to be to do their *job*

What about you? Have you read a book that never gave you space or time to think? As a writer have you heard of this method of writing your scenes? Is it something you consciously do … or does it just come naturally as your story unfolds? Tell me. I’m always curious about this stuff.

I hope you’ll come on over grab a margarita and join in the discussion. I’m always interested in finding out how other people get through their stories. See you there!

“Beautiful,” he whispered as he admired the crystal-studded nipple and clitoral clamps. “Open yourself to the sublime pleasure of the pain, Claire and let it center you.” He leaned in, brushing his lips feather-light across her cheek, the heat of his words shivering across her skin. “You can do this. We both know it’s what you want. My pleasure comes from knowing how much you want to please me—and I am very pleased.”

Click HERE to check out other authors participating this week.

MAID FOR MASTER is also available for Kindle and Nook.

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure I want to let you know I’m Catholic. Baptized. Confirmed. And married in the Catholic church. And though I’m not practicing it’s who I am to the very soles of my feet. This information will become significant in a moment.

A few months ago a 16 year old high school student in Cranston, RI decided that the prayer banner hanging in the gymnasium of her high school violated her constitutional rights because it contained the words “Heavenly Father” and “Amen”. You see, she’s an atheist. She was forced to see the banner every time they had mandatory school assemblies in the gymnasium where it was displayed. And I suspect during mandatory gym classes as well.

Now wait … let me finish. She is welcome to her beliefs. This isn’t about that. This is about AHA standing behind this young woman to try to make a point. This young lady sued the school system to have the banner removed. The argument for the banner wasn’t to display the Christian beliefs, but to preserve an historic artifact. The prayer was written by a member of the first graduating class of the high school. Yes, the student body at the time the school was built in the 50′s was no doubt a homogenous group of middle income Christian young men and women. And it is true life has changed and that is no longer the case. But students with other religious beliefs didn’t find the banner offensive. They didn’t bring a lawsuit that cost the town and school system $150,000. (Like a school system in this day and age can afford that amount of money out of their budget. *headdesk*) It was this group standing behind this young lady (and covering her court costs) trying to make a statement.

I get it. There are atheists among us. So? There are also muslims, jews, buddhists, protestants, catholics and agnostics rubbing elbows with us at the mall or sharing a seat with us on the bus. Why do I care if they’re reading a Bible or the Koran next to me? I don’t. Can’t we all respect each other?

Because now it seems like the AHA is emboldened by having the court decide in their favor and now they’re going after a soldier memorial in Providence. The memorial is on city property in front of the town hall and displays a cross.

Seriously folks … why? I can honestly say that if this soldier had been jewish and the monument had a Star of David displayed, I would not be offended as I passed it going into the town hall. The monument is historical. Is this group of activists so intent on making sure nothing religious is displayed in public that they’re willing to erase all historical artifacts from every piece of public property in the United States? I seriously believe they’re going after another Rhode Island landmark because they know the state won’t spend the money pushing the lawsuit up the judicial ladder.

And it just irks me. I understand this group doesn’t want to be bombarded with religious symbols. But it’s a part of who we are. The United States is a melting pot. That means people of all races and religions are living within our borders. For goodness sake stop trying to act as if there is no religious history in our nation.

Am I way off base here? What do you think of all of this? Because you know me … I’m always curious about stuff like this.

It’s about an organization that 7 years ago I absolutely needed. Mostly because it pointed me in the direction of my local Maine chapter where I met some amazing writers who were more than willing to share their experience and teach me about the craft of writing. That led me to writing contests where I learned sooooo much from some very honest and giving judges. And followed that up with RWA chapter conventions.

I learned how to write query letters and where to send manuscripts. I devoured every issue of the RWR, the monthly magazine put out by RWA, filled with articles written by authors who had walked this path before me.

A year later I signed my first contract. And that’s when I got the first cold shoulder from RWA. I had signed with Liquid Silver Books (whom I adore) which is an electronic publisher. They didn’t offer an advance and for some reason that meant I wasn’t “career-minded” and didn’t deserve to have my contract listed as FIRST SALES in the RWR. Yeah, that stung.

But RWA couldn’t ignore the digital train filling up with authors who weren’t wearing blinders and could actually read the signs on the publishing horizon. They slowly accepted that authors who were published only in digital formats might actually be making money. They even allowed us into the prestigious “Published Authors Network” when one of our books earned $1000 in royalties, which was the minimum advance they felt was worth an author’s time. They lost a little of their luster at this point. More and more magazines were arriving and sitting around unopened before they got recycled. Still, I was happy to be in online RWA chapters that offered classes and support that I desperately wanted and needed.

Fast forward a few more years. I’ve found several author and reader groups online that aren’t affiliated with RWA. They support the needs I have, social, promotional and educational. Facebook and Twitter exploded, offering me even more opportunities to connect with authors and readers. I have a whole array of friends that I’ve never met face-to-face, but who are as dear to me as some of my highschool and college friends.

Now self-publishing has added another avenue to the road to publication. People are questioning the need for agents. Is Harlequin with it’s meager advances and low print runs the gold standard anymore? It used to be that authors who were members of RWA held more credibility with the big romance publisher. I’m not so sure that’s true anymore. I’m meeting more and more highly successful romance authors who are not members of RWA.

And then there’s the convention. But even that has lost its shine for me. With conventions like Romantic Times, Lori Foster’s Get-Together and Ellora Cave’s Romanticon authors are offered many opportunities to meet and greet not only other authors, but readers as well. And isn’t that who I’m really working to get to know? The RWA convention is for members only.

Now, RWA is trying to figure out where self-publishing (that dirty word that also meant you weren’t “career-minded”) is fitting into their model of publishing. With so many NYT Bestselling authors re-releasing out of print and backlist titles, it’s no longer a publishing avenue they can ignore. I’m not sure where they’ll end up when it all shakes out, but the question is, have they become an organization that romance writers no longer need?

I don’t know the answer to that question.

I’ve been questioning my membership over the last couple of years. Mostly because RWA continues to raise their yearly dues (like everything else in the world that’s increasing). And I’m using them less and less. I have enough connections now that when I’m inquiring about a new publisher or perhaps (some day) shopping for an agent, I know there will be all kinds of people who will be able to steer me in a direction that works best for me. For now I continue to plunk down my money so I can continue to be active with the Maine Chapter. Some of my dearest friends are in that group. And I would miss seeing them. But I’m not sure it’s worth the $110 (RWA and Chapter dues) a year for me to be a member of that chapter.

What do you think? Are there advantages for romance authors to be members of RWA? Do you think those that bow out are missing anything? I’m really trying to figure this one out.

All three books are available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble.