I’d like to share with you something that came from one of those foolish emails that gets forwarded so many times you’re not sure where it began. So I’m afraid I can’t give any particular man credit for this. But as a public service announcement I thought I’d share with women what some silly men actually believe to be true. Now here are 13 “rules” from the MAN BOOK (and since all of them–in a man’s opinion–are all equally important they are all numbered 1). Please ladies be gentle with the comments. There are men who read this blog.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
2. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
3. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
4. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
5. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
6. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
7. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
8. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
9. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.
10. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
11. Crying is blackmail.
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.